Anger simmering, I try to block,
but fighting a losing battle.
Struggling to keep it within,
escaping, temper starts to rise up.
Past boiling, now molten lava,
prepared to singe all in its path.
Jolted into full throttle, the rant begins,
berating those who deserve no less.
Not stopping for breath; the tirade continues,
pointing out all the wrongs inflicted on me.
Eventually there is nothing left to stoke the fire;
with no steam rising I start to cool off.
My anger abated, but I was all alone,
the wrath directed at the invisible.
Arguments are only acted out in my head,
a release valve for my sanity.
The anger has hurt only myself,
then stored with the imaginary multitudes.
I am a young adult, I do not think
nor care about my choices
there are no consequence
I exist to please only me.
A selfish attitude finished
with an abundance of stupidity.
Slightly older; I already have regrets
blaming all except me for those choices.
Decisions affecting others, I’m unable
or not wishing to change direction.
My anger increasing, but not at myself
blindness still clouds my judgement.
Age now gaining pace, the rut set in
fully aware of what I have done.
Trapped and unable to move
wishing for another life.
But still nothing changes, I believe
I made my bed: so lie in it I must.
Much older, I sink to a depth of darkness
hitting rock bottom before I react.
My fingertips pulling me to recovery
knowing what I have to do.
Starting again: selfishness prevails
I do what is right for me.
Not able to change the past
but regretting the choices I made.
Building bridges with those I love,
for I am now accepted for who I am.
Self healing, I will learn how to forgive myself
bringing inner peace to a tortured soul.
What has been cannot be undone
what will be is the lesson learnt.
Choices we make are ours alone
making us who and what we are.
A cliff side vigil, full off contemplation
my companion the sea, otherwise alone
I feel and see the power in the foaming swells
hypnotised: deafened by the waves breaking.
Finally drawn in by the gravitational pull;
waves wash over me, cleansing my being
no more drowning in fresh air
as now I drown in the sea of souls.
Taken by the tides, stroked by soft hands
whispering lips brush against my ears
soft voices calming: deeply pervading
feelings of elation: a climax of passage.
Souls, lifting as one, return me to land
singing a farewell chorus: a sweet murmur.
Feeling cleansed, I remain still: spellbound
listening to the sea caress the root of the cliff.