Coming out……


I yearned to tell, but couldn’t actually execute,
not knowing how to broach the impossible
nor, in truth, being brave enough to do so
building imaginary obstacles, not able to breach.

Hiding behind my barricade permitted no honesty,
to live a lie, denying only myself the life I hungered,
plunging into an abyss, where darkness infected,
suddenly; the dark adjusted to light: I knew it was time.

My stomach knotted, the adrenalin surging,
thoughts controlled by an unreasoned mind.
The purpose forgotten, disoriented in fear,
inadequacy is overwhelming: for I failed.

Piteous endeavours forgotten, stepping back,
re-building my courage, I couldn’t falter or fail again,
more determined and controlling my fears,
success; a weight lifted: I am now me.

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We are all the same….

Why do you hate me so? You don’t know me at all
as there is no difference accepting in our minds.
Are you happy with the choice you have made?
Neither abuse, nor vile hatred do I direct at this choice.
Judgement is never considered. I let you be
acknowledging who you are, your right to exist.
Your difficulty is your prejudice: not mine
the intolerance you show cannot crush my will.
It is human nature; a want, or need to love,
I give my heart, my soul and myself to another.
My choice is being gay, to be with the same as I,
equality is what I crave, a path to a peaceful existence.
Graciousness can start to heal the deep wounds;
still weeping from years of deficient understanding.
So please don’t hate me; as I refuse to hate you.