Choices…..

I am a young adult, I do not think
nor care about my choices
there are no consequence
I exist to please only me.
A selfish attitude finished
with an abundance of stupidity.

Slightly older; I already have regrets
blaming all except me for those choices.
Decisions affecting others, I’m unable
or not wishing to change direction.
My anger increasing, but not at myself
blindness still clouds my judgement.

Age now gaining pace, the rut set in
fully aware of what I have done.
Trapped and unable to move
wishing for another life.
But still nothing changes, I believe
I made my bed: so lie in it I must.

Much older, I sink to a depth of darkness
hitting rock bottom before I react.
My fingertips pulling me to recovery
knowing what I have to do.
Starting again: selfishness prevails
I do what is right for me.

Not able to change the past
but regretting the choices I made.
Building bridges with those I love,
for I am now accepted for who I am.
Self healing, I will learn how to forgive myself
bringing inner peace to a tortured soul.

What has been cannot be undone
what will be is the lesson learnt.
Choices we make are ours alone
making us who and what we are.

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6 thoughts on “Choices…..

  1. I recognize myself in this poem, Helen.

    • Whenever I write about my past, it is in hope of making me feel better. On this occasion it didn’t work, but I remain forever an optimist.
      Thank you for your comment Andra. It meant a lot.

  2. donna says:

    Choices can be so hard helen: I do so hope you find your inner peace.

  3. There are those who never make that realisation, and never build bridges, aren’t there, Helen? It takes great strength to about-turn after half a lifetime and change.

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