Will I ever…..

I think that love has passed me by
there is no valid reason why.
I have so much love I want to give
instead a lonely life I live.
I do so want my heart to fly
to race to jump and even cry.
Never fear that my heart may break
for this is a chance I willingly take.
A broken heart will bring much pain
but worth the joy that I might gain.
Luck may truly play a part
that captures wonder in my heart.
Life long feeling, alone and blue
replaced with love, pure and true.

I still miss you….

Your innocent face was so peaceful,
without breath the silence became our bond,
briefly introduced for a painful goodbye.
You have existed only in my mind since that day
seeing you only as you were then;
that image is scorched in my memory.
I grieved for you, and also for myself
weeping for what should have been,
longing to imagine as you would be now.
Although your life was fleeting
you have lived a lifetime alongside me,
your presence felt and never far away.
You are a shinning star that flickers
and overshadows the beaming moon,
lighting up a pathway so I can be with you.
So shine brightly my daughter: shine
as the world looks upon you with wonder
for this is where your destination lay.

Smile.. on the move.

A stranger smiles and I can’t help but wonder why
without a spoken word between us, I also smile.
A slight nod is exchanged, acknowledging our existence
lost in exclusive thoughts we feel unable to share.
Curiosity wins, I converse, hoping for acceptance
the invisible barrier is lowered and the words flow.
The continuous gab maintains pace with the train
talking and listening in equal proportions.
The stranger completes their journey, I am left alone
reflecting on what I have learnt and told.
We shared a wealth of information but remain strangers
I smile to myself – a stranger smiles back.

Do you come here often?

I am a wreck – a quivering, shaking, stuttering – wreck. Why? I have entered the world of Online Dating and I am not ashamed to say; I haven’t quite got the hang of it….. no, that should read: I have no idea what I am doing, what I want or what has possessed me.

I found joining the sites easy, yes I have joined more than a few, but less than a lot. I even got past the ‘Username’ selection; I was amazed that, in one form or another, ‘desperate’ was taken. I selected another, less self-explanatory one, making sure I didn’t make a note of this or the passwords; as that would be far too sensible. I now hold the world record for having to click on theĀ  condescending……. ‘forgotten password’ which is underlined with attitude ink. Having logged back in, I completed the process with a mind-blowing profile: I then watched the screen….

Nothing! I went off and made a cuppa, as we all know, a cup of tea cures everything; still nothing. My hopes dashed I leave it alone for a few days then I give it another bash. I check out my profile, I quickly realise that the ‘about me’ section I had to write makes me look very dodgy, desperate, without standards and a touch of madness as the cherry on top. I quickly rectify this and make myself less mind-blowing, but I left in a little bit of humour; as I need all the help I can get.

For the want of something better to do I started to click on ‘stuff’; I found a chat room. So now I was getting somewhere: slowly. The joy of finally getting the point was short-lived: the timeline went through at the speed of light and the language was all in text speak. I was getting slightly dizzy watching; grabbing words here and there; mainly rude ones, and the odd username.

My inbox flashed. “Hello Newbe57” That’s me. I almost start hyperventilating and want to rush out to buy a wedding outfit. “Hi” I reply (What a profound use of the English language.) The username was DD42ff! “wht u up 2” she asked. “Just learning the ropes. I’m sure I will get the hang of it soon.” (For god sake give me the rope) She disappeared as quick as she appeared: back to the mach 4 timeline. My new tactic was to post randomly, not a bad tactic, well so I thought, until I spotted a “Whos that newby57? wht a fucking idiot” Well…..she did have a point. I did the web version of running like hell: logged off and sent myself to bed.

Please note: I have changed Usernames to protect the innocent…. and myself. So in the unlikely event Newbe57 and DD42ff existing……… Sorry