When I learnt that my mother had died I didn’t feel anything…..
I simply didn’t know who she was.
Memories of brief meetings are crystal clear
knowing who you were but not your purpose.
Unable to see you, I wave goodbye to the train
this episode was in fact our last farewell.
The child that I was didn’t fret at all
easily distracted and unaware of grief.
The youth that I became was hard to endure
unmindful of the scars that were forming.
The years flew by and I felt some bitterness
wrestling with despondency, struggling to prevail.
I prevent thoughts of you from entering my mind
It is too painful as I realise what I have missed.
I have yearned for something that cannot be
for the love that only a mother can give.
Deep within me I have a void that bears pain
this will remain as a reminder of what is.
I do not hate you, nor do I feel the need to know why
your reasons are yours; so who am I to judge.
It is a shame you were a stranger in life
and that same shame: a stranger in death.