To my Mother….

When I learnt that my mother had died I didn’t feel anything…..
I simply didn’t know who she was.

 

Memories of brief meetings are crystal clear
knowing who you were but not your purpose.
Unable to see you, I wave goodbye to the train
this episode was in fact our last farewell.

The child that I was didn’t fret at all
easily distracted and unaware of grief.
The youth that I became was hard to endure
unmindful of the scars that were forming.

The years flew by and I felt some bitterness
wrestling with despondency, struggling to prevail.
I prevent thoughts of you from entering my mind
It is too painful as I realise what I have missed.

I have yearned for something that cannot be
for the love that only a mother can give.
Deep within me I have a void that bears pain
this will remain as a reminder of what is.

I do not hate you, nor do I feel the need to know why
your reasons are yours; so who am I to judge.
It is a shame you were a stranger in life
and that same shame: a stranger in death.

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5 thoughts on “To my Mother….

  1. It is such a void, a loss like this: until one has experienced void its hard to realise how devastating it can prove as the years wear on. Lovely piece of writing: sad, though…

  2. donna says:

    I’ve read this 3 or 4 times 2day helen I couln’t take my eyes off it, I didn’t cry but it brought a tear 2 my eye, remembering my own mam and the story is so simular 2 yours, I admire u a lot cos I dnt think ill eva b able 2 put into words how I feel

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