If embarrassment could be measured in size, mine would reach to the top of Blackpool Tower ! All I wanted to do, was get a blog. Nothing earth shattering; just a blog. Now those who know me well, but will not admit it, will tell you: nothing I ever do is easy, in fact I have a secret gene, ensuring that everything I attempt to do is never easy! So I cracked my knuckles and made a start, expecting a difficult time, i was surprised how easy it was….. I followed the idiot’s guide, which seemed to be written with me in mind. I got myself a blog name and off I went…
When did I realise I had a small issue? Well that’s difficult to say, as I was blissfully unaware of what I was doing, or what to expect, so putting the issue aside I updated my profile; that took 5 minutes. I returned to try to write a blog. Yes that was the small issue; I didn’t know how! I reloaded the idiots guide and then followed the instructions….Click on… new post Ok looked all over for the…. new post to click on, nowhere on the page to be found. At one stage, in desperation, I looked at the screen side wards, praying it was hiding or at the very least, playing a funny trick on me! I knew what I was looking for, and this was confirmed by a fellow Twitterite, whom I was having a tweet with on the issue, she pointed out another click prior to the click…..still with me? Armed with the extra click info, I waited until after work the following day to try it, still no joy, so I changed my profile again.
The situation became ridiculous the day after. I was click…click…and bloody clicking, on everything, even up the nose of an innocent bystander on the home page, what i hoped to find up there was nobodies business………nothing, zilch, naff all! So for the want of something better to do I changed my profile again. I am normally a very laid back person, but this clicking and getting nowhere fast, was getting my mad up. Click…click… and then, well that was enough: my scream was heard four doors away. I got a text off my neighbour ‘U ok Hell’ a quick reply ‘YES’ followed by a …..’OH SOZ’ I was preparing to ask her why she was sorry, when I was interrupted by a rap on the door. I was confronted by an officer of the law, asking if all was well!. ‘Yes officer, I am fine…. No officer I was trying to blog…. No that’s not an illegal act (maybe it frickin well should be)…..no I am not being rude…I am trying to do a bl** …Yes officer I will do it quietly in future….’ A quick check…nobody watching and I return to the laptop once more. I was going to finally contact the support centre, when a box popped up. ‘I didn’t exist’ this is where the embarrassment kicks in: I hadn’t actually finished setting up the blog, as I had missed the important bla de bla http: // wordpress.com, or whatever. To add insult to injury the on-screen message read ‘Well done, you are finally finished. Now write!’ The cheeky git, was it timing me?
I couldn’t be bothered to do a victory dance, as i normally would, with victories so rare, i usually celebrate in style, but as this one was a tad hollow, I limply punched the air and lay down; the hard floor cooling my brow. I was now silently weeping, as I was so happy that I wasn’t imagining my stupidity, it was actually real!
My next blog will either be on
a) The failure to post the link for the blog or b) Police response times on a Wednesday afternoon.