Depression is such a lonely illness and rarely understood.
Darkness is descending, angst intensified
an overwhelming hunger for oblivion.
Floating to the dark side of the moon
hidden from the indistinct obscurity of life.
Cloaked in a lonely cocoon, living in shadow.
The catatonic state preferable to animation
with the obliging sanctuary of the moon.
A dire existence brings a strange contentment
waiting for the lifting of misty vapours of disquiet.
A short stroll, unaware of wonder
so alone and lost inside my mind.
I feel the pull of a gentle breeze
whispering softly, the trees interpret
through the rustling of their leaves.
Drifting onwards the sounds change
as each tree brings its own language.
A congregation, vying for my attention
standing in their majesty for one glance.
The noise intensifies as I pass by
I’m Inspired by the harmonious request.
Pausing, I admire their unique characteristics
an aged collection of natures beauty.
The breeze intensifies as I prepare to leave
enabling the trees, in unison, to bow.
Reciprocating I perform a bow of honour
with unexplainable contentment I bid farewell
The gentle breeze wraps itself around me
guiding me through a forest full of life.
Why are we here, a constant thought
profound answers are often sought.
We strive to get more, and its never enough
unable to cope when the going gets tough.
Envy of others instead of joy for our lot
why can’t we feel satisfied with what we have got.
The life-time we have is so short and won’t last
tomorrows; are yesterday which will soon be our past.
Acceptance of being brings all that we need
true happiness flows when not stifled by greed.
So I must take heed and get ready to live
stop taking from others and learn how to give.
Two hearts beating to the echoes of silence,
no music required: the rhythm perfect
a pulsating essence which is in command
with a coded language so they beat as one.
The souls join in an abstract movement
swaying gently, fuelled by total rapture
as the electricity flows from one to another
the hearts skip but never miss a beat.
Even a distance cannot disturb the dance
heightening senses in readiness for the return
paired up the dance begins, the passion of a tango
entwined: the steps in perfect symmetry.
The hearts sleep soundly in each others grasp
resting and rejuvenating for another day
awaking, they stretch in unison into the morning
one look: the dance of souls smiling; pick up the beat.
Engrossed in fluffy clouds
that drift across the sky.
I try to pick out animals
as they gently float on by.
The hardest ones to make out
are twenty shades of grey
transformed into whiteness
as the sun comes out to play.
I sit and watch a battle
as the clouds spoil the fun
holding hands together:
blocking out the sun.
The sun will not be thwarted
so it switches to full blast
the clouds are getting flustered
as they know they cannot last.
The sun has its victory
it did enjoy the game
using clouds to draw with;
a horse complete with mane.
A dolphin quickly followed
then a dragon and a shrew
it carried on relentlessly
until the day was through.
The clouds gave fair warning
as the sun said its goodnight
tomorrow is another day
be prepared to fight.
Anger simmering, I try to block,
but fighting a losing battle.
Struggling to keep it within,
escaping, temper starts to rise up.
Past boiling, now molten lava,
prepared to singe all in its path.
Jolted into full throttle, the rant begins,
berating those who deserve no less.
Not stopping for breath; the tirade continues,
pointing out all the wrongs inflicted on me.
Eventually there is nothing left to stoke the fire;
with no steam rising I start to cool off.
My anger abated, but I was all alone,
the wrath directed at the invisible.
Arguments are only acted out in my head,
a release valve for my sanity.
The anger has hurt only myself,
then stored with the imaginary multitudes.
I am a young adult, I do not think
nor care about my choices
there are no consequence
I exist to please only me.
A selfish attitude finished
with an abundance of stupidity.
Slightly older; I already have regrets
blaming all except me for those choices.
Decisions affecting others, I’m unable
or not wishing to change direction.
My anger increasing, but not at myself
blindness still clouds my judgement.
Age now gaining pace, the rut set in
fully aware of what I have done.
Trapped and unable to move
wishing for another life.
But still nothing changes, I believe
I made my bed: so lie in it I must.
Much older, I sink to a depth of darkness
hitting rock bottom before I react.
My fingertips pulling me to recovery
knowing what I have to do.
Starting again: selfishness prevails
I do what is right for me.
Not able to change the past
but regretting the choices I made.
Building bridges with those I love,
for I am now accepted for who I am.
Self healing, I will learn how to forgive myself
bringing inner peace to a tortured soul.
What has been cannot be undone
what will be is the lesson learnt.
Choices we make are ours alone
making us who and what we are.